You’ve heard it and some of you will have probably said it before ‘ I tried every diet,
fast, eating plan and just got fatter and fatter and more and more unhappy’ That was
me. Fast forward to April this year ~ I had finished my 14 week Kaizen Muse Creativity
Coach Training - lots to learn, lots to examine and even more to think about - and
I decided that in order to be a good coach I had to walk my talk and that meant
putting the small steps I had been learning about, to work in my life.
‘What would make the biggest difference to my life right now?’
I asked myself. Loosing some excess weight was the obvious answer.

‘But how?’ I groaned inwardly. The mere thought of ’not being on some kind of a
'diet’ terrified me and yet the equally overwhelming thought of all the weight
I had to lose and ’being on a diet’ scared me just as much! I also knew 35 years
of on/off ’dieting’ just hadn’t worked for me. In fact it had taken me from
116 lbs in my youth (I thought I was too fat) around, up, down and almost
inside out to the size I was right now.

So taking on board all I had learnt. I sat down and devised a plan using the
tiny steps of Kaizen to lose weight. If I am honest, and I always try to be that,
I wasn’t 100% sure it would work. I was nervous, scared and having spent a
lifetime doing big, doubted that small could have the desired results. Still what did
I have to lose only the weight! I pondered about why losing weight and staying the
same gave me similar fears, a bit like the fear of success and failure at the same
time. Both bring up scary emotions. I used some of my coaching tools to rediscover,
renew and at the same time recover some old buried beliefs I had around losing
weight-that’s another story…

After a bit more self enquiry I decided to approach my task somewhat differently
than I had done in the past. With the help of the Kaizen Coaching I had previously
had, I looked at breaking the patterns of old, one step at a time. Instead of my usual
setting a goal, normally way too high, feeling overwhelmed, crashing into perceived
failure and beating myself up about it, I asked myself ’What do I want to create?’
Then I let the question swirl around in mid air, suspending any disbelief I had that
the answer might never appear, and keeping completely unattached to what message
might pop up. I didn’t have to wait long, I wanted to create a smiling, happy,
self contented person who was committed to helping others (among other things)
I asked myself ’ What feeling would this give me?’ and duly logged the answers in a
little journal. Then I looked at how I could go about manifesting this me, creatively,
kindly, playfully and in minuscule stages, where overwhelm could not charge in to
destroy my new intentions.

I had learn about ‘tiptoeing past the mid brain’ keeping the fight or flight part
(I call it Billy goat gruff) asleep whilst dancing with the cutey cortex ~ the creative part.
I knew taking small actions could lead to big results, if I did them regularly and in small
enough steps, so I just had to decide what the small step ‘action’ would be. I didn’t want
my primary focus to be on ‘dieting’ I wanted to focus more on allowing my body to
experience really good feelings like more energy, lightness of being and the by-product
of those feelings would be to feel more healthy. I threw my scales away - big one that -
and the diet books. I began reading a book called ‘what’s in this’ - what an eye-opener,
and that helped me to decide that I was just not going to eat anything processed, anything
that could take my energy - what little I had - away from me. This became a firm anchor for me
‘I don’t eat anything processed’ I could say it with glee, with freedom, because I had decided
not to. It was a great firm boundary for me to, which was liberating!

This cut out all rubbish choices in one foul swoop. Yippee I sailed down the cakes and
biscuit aisle in the supermarket, I don’t eat processed so I didn’t need to stop,
whiz on to the fruit and veg, what I saved on ‘treats’ I spent on organic vegetables,
fruit and some chilli chocolate (a girl’s gotta have choccy) and using my rediscovered
creative talents I planted up a herb garden, some tomatoes and several types of lettuce,
all in grow bags down my ally way and beside my back door.  Just four grow bags yielded
me enough tomatoes for the whole summer. My husband joined me on ‘the lightness of
being’ way of eating and I admit it helped but I was ‘doing it anyway’ whether he joined
me or not. I learned how to make the most gorgeous bread, no machines just in the mixer
and bang into the oven, really satisfying soups, delish salads and some char grilled veg -
I had always hated veg but could manage some and have even grown to know when
I need more. I juiced lots of yummy things and always chucked a few carrots in,
I didn’t taste them but my body knew I had eaten them, 10 gold stars for me!
My whole ethos was about simplicity. Make it simple. Make it fast.  Make it colourful.
Make it easy. Make it nutritious. Make it gorgeous.. I loved how I was eating and
felt no ‘lack’ of anything. I had two squares of chilli chocolate in the evening, normally
I would have eaten the whole bar and looked for another to join it, and on occasions when
I wanted to just stuff it, I became a kindly parent who talked to her little wayward bratfink
inside, and explained that no matter how much she screamed and shouted, she wasn’t getting
her own way, two squares or no squares that was the deal. I liked my wise self. It worked.

Sometimes now I bring just an ‘essence’ of something in, if it’s chocolate I want I might
have a dusting of good quality cocoa powder on one of Jason’s really healthy flapjack squares,
or loads of 0% Greek yogurt with frozen berries, lots of seeds, a few nuts and top with a
cocoa powder ~ yum! It’s easier for me to ask ‘is there an essence’ I can bring in to
give me a flavour of what I am fancying rather than chonking the whole lot and feeling heavy,
fed up and like a failure.

I still eat out, I still have dinner parties, I still have friends over and I don’t always
remain faithful to the non processed stuff, however 90% of the time I do and don’t
feel like I am missing out on anything, because I just go with the flow, step by step
and forget about losing weight, I focus on being joyful, being creative, and laughing
whenever I can. I also did not give myself a time line to lose this weight. I know it
works for some people, it doesn’t for me. I wanted to break the habit of good/bad
eat/don’t eat and lose x amount by so and so date. I wanted to relax around food,
and creating helps me do that. I weigh myself when I feel like it, like a few weeks ago,
the first time for about 6 weeks and I had lost another 15lb. I have had a few party meals
out this week and am not worried, when the time is right I will weigh in again. I see differences
but they don’t mean the be all or end all anymore, I test how my heart is feeling, if it’s light
I’m on the right track, if it feels heavy, I look at what I am eating.

For the first time ever in my life, my value is not about what I weigh, it’s about what I do
for myself and others. So far I have lost 70lbs and my husband the same. I have a long way
to go and he is now a beanpole and all is good. I don’t feel driven anymore, just taking one
small step at a time, asking what do I want to create, what is the smallest step I can take
today that will make the biggest difference to how I am feeling, doing it, and taking an
afternoon nap if I get the chance, these are the things I ask and do to keep me feeling good,
looking better than I have done for ages, and seeing my blood pressure return to normal after
years of being sky high. Do it slow also helps me become re-acquainted with the real me,
seeing what delights me, inspires me and losing the masks and the need for other people’s
approval.

I am a 48 year old woman who is feeling just fine. Not worrying about bumps lumps, saggy bits
or wrinkles. I just accept them as part of my life’s rich experiences and get on with living. I am
now firmly of the belief that we can do anything if we take the small regular steps which point
us in the direction of our dreams and let any 'surplus to requirement' beliefs just float away
in the mists of time. Yes I can say I am falling in love with my life and myself!

Detta xx